Socks

April 2017

This morning I awoke,

after returning from the anxiety

of September last year.

I was back in that house that I no longer belonged to, 

Talking to Alice as if we were really friends

and then I saw you through the window. 

You'd just arrived

'home'.

Strange because I couldn't wait for you to arrive. How silly it all seems now.

Before entering you took a moment.

You wanted the moment to last as long as it could 

Anything to keep you from coming in and resuming the life you wanted to leave.

A moment is shorter than 20 seconds when you're holding onto every second from escaping through your tight grip.

You deflated upon entering.

Was this how you felt?

The elephant in the room laughed at me.

Sneering in the corner

And then it followed you, 

all the way to your parents house.

The sun tried to dry my tears, but I couldn't sit out on the roof anymore.

I finished the internship form out of spite, 

delivering it by hand 

to the wrong address. 

I broke down 

At my carelessness 

That such an important detail passed me,

And then blamed myself for being so affected by The news you hand delivered,

Read aloud

Like a poem I should have praised you for.

'Dont you want to keep it?' 

I remember you asked me

Why?

Are you worried I wont remember we've broken up?

Is this really a token you want me to keep?

Should I look back at it someday?

Should I remember you by this?

'Look, my ex boyfriend was a poet, he even gave me the break up poem'

These are the things I should have said to you 

Instead of holding back words

Instead of surrendering tears

Eso si que es.