after returning from the anxiety
of September last year.
I was back in that house that I no longer belonged to,
Talking to Alice as if we were really friends
and then I saw you through the window.
You'd just arrived
Strange because I couldn't wait for you to arrive. How silly it all seems now.
Before entering you took a moment.
You wanted the moment to last as long as it could
Anything to keep you from coming in and resuming the life you wanted to leave.
A moment is shorter than 20 seconds when you're holding onto every second from escaping through your tight grip.
You deflated upon entering.
Was this how you felt?
The elephant in the room laughed at me.
Sneering in the corner
And then it followed you,
all the way to your parents house.
The sun tried to dry my tears, but I couldn't sit out on the roof anymore.
I finished the internship form out of spite,
delivering it by hand
to the wrong address.
I broke down
At my carelessness
That such an important detail passed me,
And then blamed myself for being so affected by The news you hand delivered,
Like a poem I should have praised you for.
'Dont you want to keep it?'
I remember you asked me
Are you worried I wont remember we've broken up?
Is this really a token you want me to keep?
Should I look back at it someday?
Should I remember you by this?
'Look, my ex boyfriend was a poet, he even gave me the break up poem'
These are the things I should have said to you
Instead of holding back words
Instead of surrendering tears
Eso si que es.