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December 2016

You fell in love with the person you wanted me to be

Whether it was your mistake believing it

or my mistake not living up to it

who knows

I think we're both to blame for our parts

 

You ended it the same way it started

on your knees

looking up to me

Both were contrived

The first, honestly

The second, ironically

You said it was for my benefit

When it was really for yours

You made the move I chose not to take

Choosing to wait for the you I remembered

Recognized

Than the you I was living with

I'm glad you took them both away

You couldn't have predicted how much for the better it made me

No longer am I anxious

To come home

To ask how your day was

To hoping the food I cooked is good enough

To find places to hide receipts of things I've bought

as an attempt

to avoid that look you'd give me

of disgust

or disappointment

by doing something you disagree with

In your absence I grew

Stunted by a previous relationship

and then jumping heart first into yours.

I am becoming the person I am. 

It's not thanks to you

but thanks to your fickle judgement

in what you thought you needed to do

You did well for me

Not for us

but I hope you did well for yourself. 

 

We still live in Medway.

I'm sure I passed us walking down the high street.

And cycling on your bike

Although they weren't aware at the time, I wished them

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